I've always lived in Wonderland, and I've never heard of any place more, that is, until this little blonde girl came from the outside. She just waltzed right into our house and struck up conversation with my caretakers. Although her audacity was surprising, I was thankful for her being there because it led to my escape.
How did I get there in the first place, you might ask? I grew up on a farm just past the Mad Hatter's house. I lived with my mom and a few other sows, along with three confused cows and a very snoody cock. We all pitched in with the work that needed to be done, and it happened to be my day to go out and collect hay for that night's dinner. I ventured a little too far that day and crossed paths with two senile old women, they presumed I was helpless and against my will took me back to their twisted cottage.
I'd been there for a full two weeks before that Alice girl showed up. As soon as she walked in, I knew it was my chance. So I screamed as loudly as possible to her for help, although she kept calling my pleas for help loud "grunts." I didn't care what she called them as long as she got me out of there eventually. Then the strangest thing happened.
BANG! The kitchen pot clanged against the back wall, and narrowly missed my right ear. I screamed even louder, but the woman holding me paid no attention. The cook kept throwing anything and everything our direction, sometimes making painful contact with an exposed hoof or belly. Finally, the woman stood up and launched me into the air towards the girl.
Alice caught me, but not without effort. I contorted my body every which way to try and get free, but nothing worked. She held tightly until I figured I should just go along with the ride. Thankfully Alice didn't stay long, and she carried me outside. Her eyesight was up to par and she was able to realize that I was, in fact, not a human baby.
"You're a pig!" she exclaimed. I grunted back.
"A pig has no place in a house like this with women of this nature," she softly said as she bent down and let me free. With a squeal of thanks, I ran off towards the farm. My family is NOT going to believe this.
Alice and the pig.
Image Creds: Wikimedia Commons
Poor piglet!
ReplyDeleteIn this post, you do an excellent job of developing the voice of the pig. I felt as though it was speaking to me…and simply venting frustrations to anyone who might listen.
Most posts need a bit of dialogue, I believe, so that's really the only stylistic suggestion I have.
However, I noticed in the third paragraph that you say "snoody;" should this really be "snooty?"
Nice work!
I really liked your story, Avery! I liked the perspective you chose to use. One suggestion I would make is to add the story and an author's note to tell people how you changed it and where they can find the original! I'm sure you've done that on your other stories though and just forgot on this one!
ReplyDeleteBesides that one thing, I thought you did a great job!
I really enjoyed this story! It makes you wonder if animals really think like this sometimes...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Patrick that there probably needs to be an author's note. I've read your stories before and they have them so it seems like this was probably just a mistake. For story I am not familiar with the original so an author's note would really help me out. Other than that, wonderful job! Everything I've read of yours is very well written and this is no different. Keep up the good work!